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Friday, April 15, 2005


Choice of words

Robert Kilroy-Silk, the Man with the Tan, launched the Veritas Party's manifesto on Thursday morning. I'm using the term 'party' advisedly, since normally it would imply a political movement rather than a one-man band.

The target of his attack was "liberal fascists". I'm trying to picture what one might look like but, no, the Nazi uniform just doesn't go with the beard and sandals. What can he mean?

Kilroy-Silk provides us with a clue. "Liberal fascists", he says, are the people who imposed multi-culturalism.

Of course! Now I remember! It all comes flooding back. Do you recall the time when Jo Grimond went round the country forcing people to eat curry? And the more recent electoral scandal, when Chris Rennard was found to have rigged a postal ballot in favour of the choice of Chicken Tikka Masala as Britain's favourite dish? Throughout his leadership of the Liberals, David Steel would regularly force ordinary people at gunpoint to board planes and spend two weeks in Majorca. Before he became a Lib Dem MP, headmaster Phil Willis had a strict policy of making all the children in his school listen to black pop music. And it has been a common practice for many years for Lib Dem Focus teams working in more middle class neighbourhoods to force people to decorate their halls with carved wooden African knick-knacks.

Indeed, such is the power and influence of these "liberal fascists" that millions of British drunks, instead of going straight home when the pubs shut, have been conditioned to eat doner kebabs.

Yes, "liberal fascists". What's the right word or phrase here?

Oxymoron? Contradiction in terms?

Let's just settle for complete and utter bollocks.

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