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Sunday, October 31, 2004

 

How to be a pundit in one easy lesson

Two days to go to the US presidential election, and both the British and American media are filled with acres of speculation about the result.

You don't need to be an expert. Anyone can do it. All you need to do is namedrop assorted permutations of bizarre demographic groups and remote towns that no-one's heard of, while keeping a straight face.

Most of the coverage reads like a Private Eye parody. "Pollsters are predicting an above-average turnout among blue-collar soccer moms across the prairie states, while in the battleground state of Nirvana, early voting by retired Hispanic cheese farmers is..." (cont. p.94).

It's a close election, no-one can predict the outcome with any confidence, so you can get away with saying just about anything and still sound plausible.

The one thing you can't say is the truth; it's a lottery and no-one has a fucking clue.


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